Offense

Life is full of moments when someone is going to be offended. Being offended was a big, BIG tool when I was living in Utah, for someone to disregard your pain or hurt caused by another person or group of people. When I lived in Utah I was offended by many in the ward (church group) I went to in Provo. At times it's hard for me to even think about going back to church out of fear that I'll have the same thing happen. I would never leave the church, I understand the gospel FAR TOO MUCH to ever leave. In fact Loren and I do attend our new ward at times.

One of my friends was having an issue with offense and didn't know what to do. She was directed to a scripture that I've heard many misdirected people refer to to justify their actions in being rude to someone. She was looking for clarification and so I decided to read the chapter again. Matthew 18. In this chapter Christ is speaking with the apostles about offense and how to handle it.

He first starts out by expressing that humility is very important. I remember as a child my best friend and I would get into these all out fights and then maybe 10 minutes goes by and we're back to playing and being the best of friends.

3. And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

4. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

5. And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.

Children #1 are quick to forgive. We usually hear that "skimming the water" answer in primary school, but lets "dive in" and think a little deeper. Lets look at who Christ was. We all know Christ was very, VERY patient. But we also know that he stuck up for himself and what he believed in too. Look at what he did with the money changers/bankers setting up shop in the temple! Tossing tables and using bull whips! WOO! GO JESUS!! Christ was KIND, not NICE. Kind means you lovingly guide in the correct direction. Nice seems to be you look past obviously discrepancies and avoid them rather than dealing with them.
So when I look at those verses and think I see that 7 year old me having a fight with my friend, but still knowing that she is my friend and I care about her and want to still be her friend. In that same way, I should remember that "receive one such little child in my name" part - these people are my spiritual brothers/sisters/family and there's no "I'm gonna sit on this side of heaven". I should try to look past the faults of others as much as possible and remember no one is perfect. (aka, try not to become offended)...

Moving on...

6. But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

Holy wow! Sounds like the mafia there! A watery grave... mowahahaha! Basically if you're trying you darnedest to move on from something, yet they want to keep fighting, you're the one in the right. Not them.

But wait... My pastor/preacher/teacher/father told me I'm not supposed to feel this way. Being offended is a sin... Uhhh....

7. Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!

WRONG. You are completely justified in having FEELINGS... It's NORMAL. It's HUMAN. God realizes at some point someone somewhere is going to be offended. This comes with agency. But man, if you're out there being rude and purposely trying to offend people, you better be careful.

So what do I do? I mean, I keep having this same person - be it a family member/a friend/a neighbor/your church leader/etc... they keep picking on me. I don't know if they get it, sometimes they don't understand what they're doing. Sometimes they do. So what position do you take?

8. Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.

9. And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.^a

 That's right. Walk away. Get them out of your life. Move on. Attend another ward. Move. Stop associating with that person. Change your cell phone number. Block them from your social media. Do what you got to to get them out of your life. Eventually harboring offense and letting it fester and rot inside you will only lead to hate. Hate, resentment, and anger is not of the loving, caring, and supportive God have. Who are we surrendering our will to? Yup, old Lucifer himself. What is our purpose in life? To come to earth, obtain our bodies, gain experience through success and trial/failure so that eventually by our own choice we may come back to live with our Father in Heaven. He loved us so much he wanted us to have what he has. A physical body and a family. That's why we're here. That's why we do what we do. When you actually take a moment and look past the "here and now" moment and focus on the "big picture", you'll see that a lot of the little things you're obsessing over no longer matter. (helps me deal with stress)... Anyway, if we surrender our will over to Lucifer/Satan, we're giving up on that plan. Period.

Does this mean we're alone in our pain/sadness/hurt that people are offending us?
Let's see what Christ has to say...

10. Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.

Their angels behold their face... What does that mean? We live in a world much bigger than the one we see. There are angels and sentinels (A soldier or guard whose job is to stand and keep watch) all around us. They have been appointed as such to write our doings in the Book of Life. This book or record keeps track of everything we do or say. (Another example of why we are not saved by grace alone. It is the grace of Christ's atonement and as we use it we are saved. We are also judged on our works/deeds/the things we do every day.)


But what if you know of someone who's let that experience harbor and fester and rot inside them. They've become bitter, angry, hurt, etc?? Then what? Does that mean they're an evil person? That the sins they may have makes them a horrible person now???
Speaking of Christ's atonement, check out what he says in verse 11...

11. For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost.

Still want more? He goes on...

12. How think ye? if a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray?

13. And if so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray.

14. Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish.

 There is no sin too small or too great that the atonement of Christ doesn't cover. He didn't stutter. He means it. It may take time. It may be something we may not fully understand how it works until we get to the next life, but it's there. He and his sacrifice are there for us. Every day. When we are ready to come back. Period.

So what now?

15. Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

 This is a private battle. Keep it private.

If they wont keep it quiet.. then what?

16. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.

Bring a friend or family member who may be able to help you two work it out. Not continue the fight, mind you, but actually be strength in turning the page and putting it behind you.

17. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.

Yeah, sometimes having the church behind you helps cool things down. Sometimes the matter needs that kind of attention. If they still wont budge, go back up to steps (or verses) 8-9.
If any of those resources work and you don't have to cut anyone off from your life, make a promise to not bring it back up and both parties should do all they can to keep the past in the past. Grow from it.

18. Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

 Your word is your word. Your bond/promise is your bond/promise. Meaning honor what promises you make. Remember, covenants/promises are a HUGE thing to God. Not to be taken lightly. Doctrine and Covenants 82:10 "I, the Lord, am ^abound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no ^bpromise."


 Back to Matthew 18... Here Christ is counseling that if you do have someone else come in to help settle things or are able to do it on your own, remember to make a mends in the name of God. Or in other words in the correct intent. Not to say "you're right, I'm wrong" and rub it in their face, but to actually do it to better each other.

19. Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.

20. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

Anyway... Here's the scripture that continually is misinterpreted.

21. Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

22. Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Keep forgiving. It's better for EVERYONE in the long run. Why? Well, remember that goal we have and where we're going? That's why. We can all work towards that goal easier if we keep remembering those points. Keep the small things small. This life is hard, but it's worth it in experience.